Easter bubbles

What's an Easter basket without a bubble wand?

Indulgence pep talk

So, I'm feeling down and I need to pep talk. Camden has been having a hard week since treatment last friday. He's being so sweet, it's just hard to see him not feeling himself. Headaches that last days, fatigue, soreness in his hands and feet including sharp pains. Nausea. As he walked from school to the car yesterday he was holding his head. I knew he had a headache right away. Darn Lumbar Puncture and Chemo... And Cancer.
He's been talking nice, getting his work done for school and music with out the usual complaint, complementing his siblings. The combination of extra sweet and extra pain gets me everytime. It just makes me sad to see him hurting you know? I just need to cry.
But I also was wondering if I feel more emotional too right now because I'm not indulging myself with sweets everytime I don't feel in control?? My friend Lisa and I have set a few physical goals to accomplish by June 30th, which includes weightloss. Pat and I are competing to get down to our goal weight by then too. We are not calorie counting unless it's a pure indulgence. I've got 100 indulgence calories to use a day or I can roll the over and cap it at 300. I really like this plan but it's been hard starting off. I didn't realize how often I pop something sweet into my mouth when I'm out of my groove or feeling tired or crazy.
I need to add scripture study and prayer and sleep into my weight loss plan. I know the Lord will help me with any goal I feel strongly about. Contentment in life is all about priorities. Putting first things first makes progress quicker, makes me feel empowered, motivated and upheld/ sustained/ supported.

I hate feeling helpless while I watch Cam struggle. But snacking isn't going to make him or myself feel better. I know that. I know Heavenly Father is watching over Camden and myself (and all of us, individually). He hears our prayers and knows the desires of our hearts. He has a greater plan. We are here on earth to progress, to be refined and to prepare to live with Him again. Not to mention feeling great contentment in his presence and to qualify for eternity with our sweet families!!
I'm hopefully going to learn how to deal with stress and helplessness in a healthier and more conscious way.
Through the strength of the Lord, I can do hard things.
Thanks for the pep talk, self.

Egg-cellent Saturday

Yesterday was full of Easter festivities, friends and fun. It started with the ward Easter egg hunt. I sat the kids down for a pep talk before the big hunt: "We may not get the most eggs, we may not be the fastest runners to an egg but it's fun to do our best and be with friends. We do not whine and cry and give up if things don't go our way". Kids all agreed. I thought the pep talk was directed towards Camden, because it wouldn't come as a surprise if he had a melt down in that setting. But he proved me wrong. The minute they said "go get 'em!" Cam was off happy and joyfully filling away. Meanwhile, Autrey is face down in the ground moaning "I can't do it" and Ellie is a nervous wreck. She didn't like the pressure. Now that was a surprise! 10 minutes later everyone was fine and sugar filled.
Our dear dear friends, the Colton's, came into town to pick up a new puppy and paid us a special visit! We went to The Farm at South Mountain to catch up and play. It was so nice to see them and great to see the kids playing so well again. We hope to see a lot of them even if they live a state away for now!
Later in the afternoon, Braddock, Ellie and I went to the Whipple's party. What a cute party with crafts, cookie decorating, a huge egg hunt and yummy themed snacks. We had a blast. Ellie and Morgan were glued at the hip and I enjoyed socializing in the beautiful breezy weather with friends.
We ended the day with a dip in the pool as a family and a movie in the tent...in the living room.
Great Saturday!

Blood draw, Spinal tap, Chemotherapy

Today is a longer day for us here at the clinic/hospital. It started at 9 with a blood draw. His blood counts are great which means spinal tap and chemo for the day are a go. Daddy left a work meeting to come pick up Braddock at 11am since siblings are not allowed in the hospital during RSV season. I'm hoping that's going ok for Pat. I hope he found an extra diaper in my car. Woopsies. Camden just went under anesthesia for his spinal tap here in the Out patient part of Phoenix Children's. I don't know why that part is still so hard for me. He's gone under more than 10 times in the past 12 weeks. Still, seeing him fall asleep that way really makes it hard for me not to tear up. He's been so social, kind and happy today. I am so proud of him. I believe I'll only have to wait 20 minutes before I go sit by him as he wakes up. Then we head back to the clinic for an hour of chemo. Thank you, Briana, for watching Ellie and Autrey and taxiing Ellie to and from Preschool while we are here :)
I was reminded by a friend that families are still praying for us. Thank you to all who are continuing to keep us in thoughts and prayers. We are out of survival mode. We are happy and busy. We are progressing and learning. I feel our family is growing closer :) I'm grateful for more emotional moment and quiet moments like this one, that remind me of what we've gone through these past 3 months. We HAVE progressed. I believe we have been changed for the better. Camden has grown stronger in every way. He is continuing to go to school and continuing to thrive there. Cam is done! Going back to be with him!
More updates to come.

Anndalyn Hobbs

Clinic

Monday, Braddock and I joined Camden for a few hours in the clinic for chemo. Camden loves it when Braddock comes, I wonder if that will be a fond memory for Cam or if it will bond the boys in some way as they grow older.
This phase of chemo hasn't been bad for Cam at all! That's wonderful. Unfortunately the kid has an ear infection right now and that bothers him more than anything. Sometimes he complains of pain in his hands, foot, and hangnails (hangnail pain is not a side affect of Chemo but he sure knows how to express how they make him feel, sheesh! ;)).
Camden had physical therapy this week as well. He's getting stronger. He really enjoys his sessions. She works him through games and play. It's so nice to see him stretching and trying without getting frustrated.
Hallee has been with us all week! So fun for all of us. We went to the Zoo, finally got some pictures hung on the walls and watched the third season of Downton Abbey. I wish we lived closer.

Big THANK YOU to all that donated to the race and joined our running/walking team last Saturday! Pictures and update to come!

How are we?

We are well, thank you.
Camden is getting stronger everyday. Saturday he was jumping in a small jump house at a birthday party and yelled out "Mom! I can jump!". Monday He jumped of the waterfall into the pool and came up yelling "Mom, It didn't hurt!". Sometimes I wonder if these stories give people the impression that Camden is/ was crippled in someway. He's not. He just lost a lot of core and leg strength from a combination of a lot of things including less activity, chemotherapy and fear of pain. Cam is very good at coddling pain. For example, when the Portacath was placed under his skin in his chest and the tube connected to the large vein in his neck, He went as long as he could without turning his head for fear it would cause more pain in his neck. Then his neck became stiff for awhile. So when he completely tries to isolate and ignore a part of his body that feels pain, over time he loses strength and mobility. If you saw him today you would say "he doesn't look sick, he acts like a normal 6 year old who hates homework, only eats Mac n cheese and loves Mario cart". But he's still not fully back yet. I would never sign him up for soccer today and He can't beat his 4 year old sister in a running race (which really bothers him). So these little accomplishments are big ones to him and us.
About pain tolerance. I have to add that Camden is a great patient for his Doctors and nurses. He barely flinched when they insert the needle into his port on Mondays. He trusts his medical team. He really is brave. He doesn't try to milk attention either. He's proud of his scar from the port, he's not happy with the idea of losing his hair and he's cool with us honoring him in a race but doesn't want to talk about it. He no longer cries when a bandaid is pealed off. He can swallow a pill. He does his mouth care without whining (80% of the time) and he finds joy in his small strides back to normal.
Camden has forgotten somehow how to appropriately respond to things not going his way. Or maybe he never knew, or maybe he's been spoiled over the last 3 months and doesn't care anymore. It's hard to say, but his tantrums are too often and too furious. That coupled with a sassy mouthed 4 year old girl and a 2 year old that makes a mess out of everything, and a 3 month old who doesn't care to sleep...
Maybe he can't handle things not going his way because his mom can't!? Poor boy. BUT, overall, Camden is FANTASTIC. We couldn't ask for a better recovery.
I hope to write soon about my dear, strong willed Ellie and Autrey the great. To come! Please leave questions if you have any so I can answer them for everyone. Thanks.
Anndalyn Hobbs